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What Hubris and Egotism Really Do to Us

Hubris and Egotism

That Time I Torpedoed a Deal Because I Couldn't Shut Up

Lost us fifty thousand dollars last month. Or maybe the month before? Doesn't matter. Point is I blew it because I had to be the smartest person in the room.

The client email was polite but what they meant was "your guy is insufferable." I'm the guy.

Here's What Happened

They're explaining their integration needs and I'm already jumping in with solutions. Not even good ones. Just... words. Their tech lead asks about timelines and instead of saying "let me check," I make up this whole technical explanation on the spot.

Why? Because someone called me a "solutions architect" at some conference and apparently that went straight to my head.

The worst part—their CFO asks something basic and I actually said "well if you'd worked with better vendors, you'd know that's not how it works."

Jesus.

Can't Sleep

That night I'm lying there—3-something, neighbor's dog won't shut up, wondering if goldfish can see color—replaying it. And it's not just that meeting. It's this whole thing where I:

  • Corrected someone's pronunciation in a standup (who DOES that?)
  • CC'd someone's boss on an email to prove I was right about some API thing
  • Keep writing LinkedIn posts that are just "look how smart I am"

Downloaded a meditation app. The one with the British guy? Used it twice. There's a book about emotional intelligence somewhere. Amazon box? Car? My therapist says it's insecurity which, yeah. But like—you know when you know smoking is bad while you're lighting another one?

Actually, you know what helped? This Mind Hack Lab thing. Found it at 2 AM googling "why am I such an asshole." They have this protocol where you catch yourself before you say the stupid thing. There's apparently a moment—like a full second—between thinking "I should correct this person" and actually doing it.

Never noticed it before. Still don't always catch it. Yesterday I noticed it and then did it anyway because apparently my brain—

The coffee machine in the break room makes this grinding noise now. That's not related. I'm just tired.

The Weird Part

Six months later the same company calls back. Different project. I walk in and the conference room smells like burnt microwave popcorn. The tech lead goes "You're the guy who told Linda her vendors sucked?"

I'm ready to crawl under the table.

"She loved it. Said it was the first honest vendor meeting in years. Still thinks you're a dick though."

We got the deal. Bigger than the first one.

I have no idea what to do with this information.

What Now

Look, I still interrupt people. Yesterday in standup I did it twice. But sometimes I catch myself? Like 3 out of 10 times I notice that moment where my brain goes "MUST PROVE INTELLIGENCE" and I can just... not.

The Mind Hack Lab Connection & Communication stuff helps when I remember to use it. Which is maybe half the time. When I'm not too busy being impressed with myself for remembering.

If you're reading this because you also can't shut up in meetings or you correct people's grammar in Slack or whatever your version is—I don't have answers. Just saying you're not the only one lying awake at stupid o'clock cringing at yourself.

Anyway. Meeting at 9 AM tomorrow where I'll definitely try to shut up.

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PS: Linda if you see this, sorry. And thanks.

Life Skills - Emotional Intelligence - Soft Skills

The Mind Hack Lab Framework (Yeah, There's Actually a Method to This)

Look, I get it. Another framework. Another system. But here's the thing — these 10 pillars? They're literally everything that's been kicking my ass for years, organized into something that actually makes sense.

Thirty minutes to stop the spiral. Thirty days to start the fix. Stick around longer to master it.

So I discovered something at 3 AM last Tuesday. Every single panic spiral, every frozen presentation moment, every "why can't I just DO THE THING" — it all fits into one of these 10 categories. And apparently LinkedIn says these are the exact skills that get people promoted? Wild.

The kicker: We use AI coaches exclusively. No awkward video calls with Brad the life coach at 7 AM. Just you, your brain, and an AI that remembers your specific flavor of panic without making it weird.

OK So Here's What Nobody Tells You

Every single one of these skills? They're all connected. Fix your sleep, suddenly you can focus. Manage stress, confidence goes up. It's like your brain has been playing life on hard mode and someone finally showed you the settings menu.

The Emotional Intelligence Part

  • Finally understanding WTF you're feeling
  • Not letting emotions hijack your whole day
  • Reading rooms without being creepy
  • Navigating office politics like an adult

The Career ROI Part

  • Showing up consistently (bare minimum, still counts)
  • Speaking without your voice shaking
  • Being the calm one when shit hits fan
  • Actually collaborating (not just cc'ing)

The Science-y Part

  • Your patterns aren't your personality
  • Interrupting spirals before they start
  • Techniques based on actual research
  • Building new neural pathways (sounds fake but isn't)

Real talk: McKinsey says improving well-being could unlock $11.7T in value. For you? That means more energy, better focus, and being the one who gets tapped for opportunities while everyone else is burning out.

The AI coach doesn't judge when you practice the same anxiety technique 47 times at 3 AM. No awkward "how does that make you feel" conversations. Just you, figuring out how to stop self-sabotaging, one 30-minute session at a time.

Pick Your Biggest Problem & Start Fixing It

Thirty minutes to stop the spiral. Thirty days to start the fix. Stick around longer to master it.