Why Your Anxiety Feels Different Than Everyone Else's
(And That's Actually Important)
Discover why generic anxiety advice fails and how understanding your specific patterns changes everything
So I just read this article about anxiety and now I'm pissed because apparently I've been doing everything wrong for years.
You ever notice when someone says they have anxiety and you're like "same" but then they describe something totally different? Like I'm forgetting how to speak in meetings and they're worried about germs on doorknobs. Same word, completely different hell.
Turns out there's a reason. And it's why my Confidence & Calm Under Pressure pillar cracked while trying everyone else's fixes.
The Flight Anxiety Example That Changed Everything
This article gave an example of six people scared of flying. All afraid of the same flight but for different reasons—panic attacks, germs, judgment, trauma, whatever. That's why Sarah keeps telling me to do breathing exercises before presentations and I want to scream. Breathing just makes me more aware that people can SEE me breathing weird. Works for her. Not for me.
Downloaded Mind Hack Lab at 2am last week because I couldn't stop replaying a disaster meeting. Did one of their 30-minute sessions using the Center-Breath + Label technique. Then the If-Then Meeting Plan. Can't remember exactly what happened but I slept.
The Problem With Treating "Anxiety" As One Thing
Anyway. Point is—I've been trying to fix "anxiety" like it's one thing. Like taking random pills without knowing if it's a cold or food poisoning.
Some researcher (Lisa something, Barrett? I don't know) says emotions aren't even real, they're just brain guesses based on body signals. So racing heart = excitement or panic depending on what story your brain decides. Makes sense, kinda. Feels fake.
Different Bodies, Different Stories
For me it's always "everyone thinks you're an idiot" plus throat tightening. My roommate's version is "everything bad will happen" plus racing thoughts. Same word, different mess.
Why Generic Advice Makes Things Worse
Which explains why advice is useless half the time. That "imagine everyone naked" trick for public speaking? Maybe good if you're afraid of authority. If you have social anxiety it's WORSE. Now everyone's naked AND staring at you.
Started doing the Worry Window exercise from the app. Turns out "presentation anxiety" isn't one thing.
My Actual Presentation Triggers:
- panic if leadership is watching
- panic if I didn't over-prepare
- panic if I feel like an impostor
Not presentation anxiety. Just three kinds of panic that happen in presentations.
Recent data shows a global $8.8 trillion productivity loss from workplace disengagement—much of it driven by unaddressed anxiety patterns that make people feel stuck.
The Science Behind Your Specific Anxiety
Also apparently behavioral economics has names for this stuff—spotlight effect, catastrophizing, whatever. Basically our brains are broken in predictable but different ways.
The Money I've Wasted
I hate how much money I've wasted on "general" anxiety fixes. Apps, books, retreats. Should've just had someone say: "yours is about looking incompetent, do THIS."
The emotion construction thing still messes with me. Like maybe my tight chest isn't social judgment terror—it's just that I need water. But my brain decides it's doom. Cool.
I don't even know what my point is. Just that anxiety isn't one thing. And we should stop acting like it is.
This is skills training, not medical or mental-health treatment. But at least it's specific to what's actually broken.
Here's the article that started this: Not All Anxiety Is the Same: Details Make a Difference
I'm tired. Going to eat crackers and pretend tomorrow will be productive.
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